Summary of The 3 Types of Men Have Affairs (And How to Spot Them)
- What type of guy cheats the most?
- What are the 3 P’s for men?
- What are the three types of affairs?
- What age do most men have affairs?
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AI Overview
AI Overview
While there are many ways to categorize cheaters, three common types of men who have affairs are the Opportunist (seizes chances), the Player/Serial Cheater (seeks validation/thrills), and the Frustrated/Unfulfilled Guy (seeks unmet needs in another, often due to relationship issues or personal struggles). These archetypes reflect different motivations, from impulsive acts to deeper dissatisfaction, with factors like ego, unmet needs, or personality traits driving their infidelity.
Here’s a breakdown of these common types:
The Opportunist: This man cheats when the situation presents itself and he believes he won’t get caught, often due to a lack of impulse control or moral boundaries when temptation arises.
The Player/Serial Cheater: Driven by ego, attention-seeking, or a compulsive need for new conquests, this man actively seeks out multiple partners and sees cheating as a lifestyle, not a mistake.
The Frustrated/Unfulfilled Guy: He cheats because something is missing in his primary relationship (emotional connection, appreciation, intimacy) or he’s dealing with personal issues like an identity crisis, using the affair as an escape or a way to feel valued.
Other common drivers and types include:
Lack of Empathy (Narcissistic Traits): Some men lack the empathy to understand the pain they cause, focusing only on their own desires, making infidelity easier, according to liahuynh.com.
Seeking a Way Out: Cheating can be a passive-aggressive first step to end a relationship or a way to avoid difficult conversations about dissatisfaction, as noted by marriage.com.
Understanding these patterns can offer insight, but it’s important to remember that infidelity stems from complex personal and relational dynamics, say experts at ChoosingTherapy.com.
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This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Ever wonder why some guys seem like they’re born to be loyal and doting husbands while others won’t stop messing around even if it destroys them? Staying faithful isn’t a challenge for a lot of men, but there are a few kinds of men who are more likely to cheat, and we can separate them into 3 general categories based on why they do it. In this article, we’ll break these archetypes down, cover the signs they’re cheating, and explain everything you need to know about infidelity and men.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Michelle Joy. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- The Opportunist will cheat on their partner if the option presents itself and he knows you’ll never find out.
- The Player may cheat as often as they can to feed their ego and get the attention they crave.
- The Frustrated Guy cheats when there’s something missing in their relationship and they decide to have an affair instead of fixing it.[1]
Expert Q&A
- QuestionWhat are other reasons why men have an affair?Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWKelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
Relationship CoachMen also engage in an affair when they are not appreciated by their partner and are personally dissatisfied. This causes them to seek comfort or excitement somewhere else outside the relationship. That’s why communication is important because it fosters comprehension, confidence, and emotional affiliation. By having an open conversation about issues concerning each other, needs, worries, and feelings, partners resolve their issues before they arise, thus eliminating the likelihood of them looking to satisfy their needs in other affairs.
Tips
- Don’t assume a guy is cheating on you. If he’s being secretive or he seems preoccupied with something, maybe he’s planning a surprise party for you or dealing with a personal issue he’s embarrassed about. Weigh the signs that he’s cheating as objectively and fairly as you can.[24]Thanks
- If you do think that your man is cheating on you, talk to him about it. Either he denies it and you should be able to tell he’s lying to you, he admits it and you can take the next steps, or he demonstrates he’s not cheating. In any scenario, you’ll know more.[25]Thanks
- Cheating is not the end of a relationship if you don’t want it to be. You can always recover emotionally and get back to the way things were if you take some time to heal and get therapy together.[26]Thanks
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://crsh.com/2015/10/30/why-men-cheat-the-top-3-reasons/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/the-4-types-of-men-who-cheat-and-how-to-spot-them
- ↑ https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/the-4-types-of-men-who-cheat-and-how-to-spot-them
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29244527/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/drawing-the-curtains-back/202205/infidelity-revenge
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29244527/
- ↑ https://crsh.com/2015/10/30/why-men-cheat-the-top-3-reasons/
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/why-happy-people-cheat/537882/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/emotional-cheating-relationships-meaning-dating-b2134468.html
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/05/07/one-night-stand-isnt-cheating-says-27-what-it-means-to-your-health/?sh=32b67b634a15
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/infidelity/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/emotional-cheating-relationships-meaning-dating-b2134468.html
- ↑ https://www.bonobology.com/7-types-affairs/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/emotional-cheating-relationships-meaning-dating-b2134468.html
- ↑ https://www.robertweissmsw.com/cheating-and-infidelity/why-do-men-cheat/
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21667234/
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2010/08/16/129229205/men-who-make-less-more-likely-to-cheat
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5709195/
- ↑ https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity
- ↑ https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5709195/
- ↑ Michelle Joy, MA, MFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
- ↑ Michelle Joy, MA, MFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
- ↑ Michelle Joy, MA, MFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview