“I recently saw an article about “accepting that you are old.”

We’ve seen articles lately about how you should “accept” growing older.

I think you can accept certain conditions that go along with growing old — but those conditions will be different for each person. Some can be controlled. Some can’t.

But “being old” isn’t part of anyone’s core identity. I. get really annoyed when commentators talk about the WNBA star (and Olympic champion) Diana Taurasi. She’s 42. She’s still playing. She got 15 points in her last game. All we hear is “She looks good…for 42.”

She’d be amazing at 22 or 32 or any age. Let’s just stop talking aboutit.

1 – Changes in appearance vary based on genes, exposure to sunlight, and personal preference.

If you’ve been in the sun a lot your skin will be different. Heredity also makes a difference.

You can do a lot with hair dye and makeup.

2 – You will be more likely to get certain diseases as you get older.

What you have to accept is the increased likelihood. The specific risk depends on your heredity.

There’s some lifestyle influence, too. My bet is on heredity and luck.

I’ve talked about a woman who was 81. She had no heart disease. She chain-smoked and didn’t get much exercise. She’d lost most of her family to heart disease. Yet somehow she was still strong.

3 – You may or may not move into groups associated with age.

Unfortunately, age is arbitrarily associated with a lot of activities. Sometimes it’s relevant.

I read that Jane Fonda is working out with a trainer who specializes in clients over 50. That’s impressive because she’s always been into fitness.

I am currently going to barre and yoga classes at a studio where most people are half my age. I modify some moves (and so do the younger people). Will I supplement with a trainer at some point? Or change exercise? I have no idea.

Once someone suggested I investigate an improv class for people over 45. I asked, “What do they do? Games or scene work?”

For me, that’s more important than age. Maybe some people want to be with other people their age when they do improv. I can’t understand why but it’s their decision.

An article writer said his therapist had suggested a “group for seniors.” This doesn’t make sense to me. Is this a group that talks about feelings of getting older? Do they talk about age-related experiences? Why think about these things? Why not talk about things that make you more interesting? My book club has people. ranging from thirties to eighties.

There are some things about getting older you should NOT accept. I write about them in my book.

For instance, people assume that if you’re above a certain age, you can’t do certain things. They assume you have deficits.

I was looking at my phone while waiting for a Lyft. A stranger came up to ask, “Are you all right? Are you lost?”

That’s happened more than once. Strangers ask if I need help or if I’m “all right.” I’ve had total strangers offer to help me get off a bus. That’s actually dangerous: there’s liability involved.

I don’t accept any of that. I don’t accept slang words for getting old, like “geezer.”

If a doctor says, “You can expect that at your age,” I’m skeptical.

I don’t appreciate hearing people tell me I’m amazing because I take my classes. Luckily most people don’t say anything.

Basically, I don’t want to accept an identity based on age.

Death gets closer as you age, but people have different perspectives. Some want to put. energy into longevity. Others don’t. Some are afraid of dying. Others aren’t.

And if you get a fatal disease at any age, death moves into your life and takes over.

People have different attitudes and perspectives about their last years. Some want to reminisce about the past. some don’t. Some want to talk about their medical problems/ Some don’t.

But accepting that “I’m old” is the first step to giving up. What does that even mean? Why do we even need the concept?